Once the train passes Finsbury Park every station starts to look like it’s in the middle of nowhere I like it
wooooo I feel good like fruity pink bubblegum
time to make me bald :8)
The last two grapes tasted proper weird and I was about to add grapes to my list of fruits that have wronged me (along with durian) when I realised that they were on the plate I had previously used to eat some garlic bread
I AIN’T EATING NO WEIRD ASS UGLY GRAPES
gimme friends gimme sweet little friends i.e. gimme lots of little sweets ta
ruddy a good word
trousertheft: makeyoubald: trousertheft: just told my mother about a penis I saw did ur eyes meet across a crowded room It was Zac Efron’s penis well that was how I met Zac Efron’s penis my analysis: quite testy
have been imagining wot it would be like if instead of - or in addition to - facial hair, what if hair grew out of your forehead would it just look like a comically overlarge eyebrow or what??? I could shave it so that I have little stars on my forehead or even short messages yeah! why not?!?!?!? get to work science
trousertheft: just told my mother about a penis I saw did ur eyes meet across a crowded room
It is very hard to focus on anything. First I thought I’d take a stab at writing a novel. Yeah! What a great idea! I have ideas to work on! Then I thought that a novel was a big ask and maybe I could instead do a short story that spans the events of one day in [scenario removed because woteva can’t be bothered]. Then I thought that maybe I could just do a silly poem instead. The next...
I thought that this spot on my nose disappeared but apparently it just went on holiday WELL NOW IT IS BACK AND IT IS SUNBURNT
appease appease appease that’s wot I do that’s all I do
Attention other humans
Your hair bothers me Kindly shave it all off
ONE MOMENT: YAHOOOOOOOOOOO THE NEXT MOMENT: WAHHHHHHHHHHH SUCH IS MY LIFE LIVING ON A ROLLERCOASTER~ INCIDENTALLY I ONCE HAD GREAT FUN ON A ROLLERCOASTER BY LOUDLY SWEARING THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE RIDE AND THEN DOING IT OVER FIVE MORE TIMES
IF MAKING PAINED NOISES IS A HOBBY THEN I’M AN ENTHUSIAST
I AM BUT A BURNING BALL OF ETERNAL SHAME
Now I just need to do some crash courses on how to be extremely cool and master the noble art of making puns HA! AS IF! I am already expert
I’ve now watched 3 entire episodes of Pointless! I feel suitably prepared
if you’re not watching the hairy bikers’ bakeation right now then get off this planet lol
ashdinosaur replied to your post: oh YEAH oh well I will invite him to a tea party one day oh don’t turn David Shrigley into plum jam, he won’t be able to draw any more clearly you have NO IDEA of the things that can be done while jam which is pretty much everything only a 1000000000000000000000 times better and also twice as sticky which can be sort of ok I guess
mothcub asked: oh YEAH oh well I will invite him to a tea party one day
actually it’s still on for another few weeks huh how about that
trousertheft: makeyoubald: anyway science has clearly NOT gone far enough supporting evidence: my willy has not been outfitted with the necessary cybernetic implants (or whatnot) that would allow me to get from place to place in the fashion of a helicopter if you know what I’m saying yes it has don’t lie yeah that’s right as mentioned I forgot about the concerted and esteemed...
actually I’m sure there must be some sort of kinder egg toy which achieves the desired ‘willychopper’ effect
tumblrbot asked: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?
anyway science has clearly NOT gone far enough supporting evidence: my willy has not been outfitted with the necessary cybernetic implants (or whatnot) that would allow me to get from place to place in the fashion of a helicopter if you know what I’m saying
even when I had 4 or 5 pretty good friends I was left out of a fair number of activities but there were good times too now it’s just me almost full-time I am my own occupation and it should damn well be more rewarding someone start paying me to be me please thank you hurry up hurry up not sure what those old friends are up to now because they have roundly shunned any social networking...
had to endure POLITICS early this morning oxfam volunteer POLITICS just ridiculous I can’t be bothered with it this is what I get for having to spend so much time with a septuagenarian (the octogenarian[???] is much nicer)
bloggity be bop ba bop da scat
thought about going to palmers green today - didn’t
excellent set of nostrils on that person I must say